I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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