so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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