okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
