I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
