Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
