He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
