God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
