Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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