well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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