There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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