I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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