You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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