I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize