I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
