apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
