DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
