A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there's paper in my vomit.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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