I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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