yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
why is half of my head shaved?
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