the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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