I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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