the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
