no you cant smoke seaweed
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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