so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
