Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.

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(361): View more from Texas

I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character

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(425): View more from Washington

In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter

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(914): View more from New York

After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.

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(619): View more from California

Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.

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(425): View more from Washington

You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.

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(949): View more from California

when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.

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