i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
