question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
