I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I seem to have left my pride at pride
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
