Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
