Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
