I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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