i just had sex bonerless
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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