i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
