I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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