Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
this is an emotional support booty call
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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