one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
