I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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