oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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