She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize