How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
