Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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