Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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