I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
