As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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