just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize