the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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