3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
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