remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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