Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
