May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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