Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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