With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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