if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
