I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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