Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Are my feet made of real feet?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
