hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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