hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just tell him i said nine months
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
please come you make the beer taste better
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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