big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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