I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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