I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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