well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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