Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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