Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
