Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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