I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize